Turkey Lettuce Wraps

 I'll write something attempting wittiness later, right now I'm just going to post the recipe, because it's tasty and easy and you should make it and I like run on sentences; almost as much as ginger or Asian food.  Okay, I'm done now.
 

The Perfect French Fries

In retail, it seems like everybody smokes.  I suppose you have to cope with the stress of each paycheck being based on commission, crazy customers, and standing for 9 hours a day somehow.  Smoking, however, wouldn't be my first (or last) choice.  I'm pretty sure I deal by cooking and therefore, eating.  So, when a brutally slow day ends, I spend my stoplights reading recipes, and trying desperately to ignore all the delicious food I drive by on my way home.  I'm not sure if this is more or less embarrassing than my last food admission, but I secretly like Chicken McNuggets from McDonalds.  Sometimes, if my day went poorly enough, I'll drive through and get myself a Happy Meal-but I ask for a boy's toy so that maybe, possibly the cashier doesn't think its for me-like that even matters.  That gesture makes me feel better about the whole situation though; plus the little boys' gadgets are usually way cooler, let's be honest.  Tonight, after an unproductive day at work I managed to resist stopping for America's (and my) favorite fries, and instead resolved to make my own.  After reading a variety of articles, and recognizing that I shouldn't try deep frying anything today (I managed to burn my finger on a PANCAKE this morning... seriously.  I probably should've snagged some Micky D's just for my own safety) I pieced together the following French Fry Procedure, and they pretty much rock.  There are a few tricks to these babies: using cornstarch in the fry coating, precooking the potato in the microwave, and heating the oil and pan to ensure a crispy outer. 

S'mores Squares

This recipe is the first time I used the label 'marshmallow'.  I am flabbergasted.  I suppose I can't put a recipe up for my favorite guilty pleasure...

Ingredients: Marshmallow fluff

Instructions: Purchase jar of fluff, the off-brand is just as good as the name brand.  Take home.  Ensure you are alone.  Unscrew cap, set aside.  Pick the largest spoon from your silverware drawer.  Insert spoon in sugary, fluffy goodness.  Remove.  Slowly savor the magic of marshmallow fluff.  Repeat if necessary.  Close lid.  Place back in the exact location in the pantry so nobody knows your dirty secret.

Because clearly there's not much to it.  And while marshmallow fluff is incredibly satisfying and delicious, these S'mores Squares are better, and practically as simple.  So you should probably make them, and uh not tell anybody about my marshmallow fluff secret.

Thai Chicken Pizza

As I sit here writing, good ol' Ted Allen, host of Chopped, delightfully educated me that 93% of Americans eat pizza.  Tonight, I contributed to that statistic.  You know what else I contributed to?  The percentage of Americans that eat salad, which I can feel a little better about.  Seriously. This pizza is great, it's like the offspring of pizza + salad.  Once the pizza is out of the oven a tasty slaw finishes it off.  Subtle coconut, salty peanuts, tart lime, and savory garlic marry flawlessly resulting in a dynamic, fresh pizza, different than any pizza you've had before.  Or should I call it a salad?