Creamy White Bean & Artichoke Dip

 I'll write something exciting later... I have dishes to wash.

• 1/3 cup mayonnaise*
• 3/4 cup canned white beans
• 1 clove garlic
• 1/2 shallot, quartered
• 1/2 Tbs apple cider vinegar
• 1/4 tsp Kosher salt
• 1/8 tsp ground mustard
• 1/8 tsp white pepper
• 14 oz can artichoke hearts, drained
• 1/4 cup sliced pickled jalapeños, drained

1. Put everything except the artichoke hearts and jalapeños in a food processor or blender and zap until creamy.  Add the artichokes and jalapeños and pulse until they are incorporated, but still offer a bit of texture.
2. Serve with pita chips, tortilla chips, celery sticks, or other veggies.  Keeps about a week in the fridge, although the jalapeño flavor will strengthen.

Notes:

• I generally use great northern beans, because it's what I always have in my pantry.  Cannellini beans will yield the creamiest dip.
• If you like a milder heat, a 4oz can of green chilis can be subbed for the jalapeños.
•  If you plan on using the dip immediately, you can sub in Greek yogurt for the mayonnaise, it simply won't last as long in the fridge.

S'mores Squares

This recipe is the first time I used the label 'marshmallow'.  I am flabbergasted.  I suppose I can't put a recipe up for my favorite guilty pleasure...

Ingredients: Marshmallow fluff

Instructions: Purchase jar of fluff, the off-brand is just as good as the name brand.  Take home.  Ensure you are alone.  Unscrew cap, set aside.  Pick the largest spoon from your silverware drawer.  Insert spoon in sugary, fluffy goodness.  Remove.  Slowly savor the magic of marshmallow fluff.  Repeat if necessary.  Close lid.  Place back in the exact location in the pantry so nobody knows your dirty secret.

Because clearly there's not much to it.  And while marshmallow fluff is incredibly satisfying and delicious, these S'mores Squares are better, and practically as simple.  So you should probably make them, and uh not tell anybody about my marshmallow fluff secret.

Toasted Ravioli

I loved growing up in St. Louis-- It was a very pleasant place (minus the sauna-hot, sweaty, nasty summers...) but by no means am I itching to go back.  One of the very few things that gets me nostalgic for home is the thought of toasted ravioli.  Yup, that crunchy, greasy, delicious bar food found only in St. Louis.  T-ravs (as my highschool buddies used to call them at hot lunch) fall far outside of the realm of food I normally prepare for myself, but when I realized the sir in my life had been deprived the opportunity of ever tasting the delicacy, they were added to my kitchen docket, stat.  Upon heading to the store for a couple ingredients I didn't have on hand, I discovered the Walmart in Indiana actually stocks frozen toasted ravioli-What?!!.  I was set on making my own T-ravs although I was seriously tempted to pick up a box of frozen ones in case I managed to mess my own up... frying food isn't exactly my specialty.  I'm glad I saved the three dollars, aside from frying my candy thermometer in the process, my raviolis far exceeded the freezer section variety, and as far as fried, greasy bar food goes I consider them exceptional :)  If you are familiar with T-ravs, this recipe is as classic as it gets, and if you're not familiar- try them at least once and make a St. Louisan proud.

Soft Pretzels

I have a problem.  When I get stressed about things... say final exams... I don't alleviate that stress by studying.  I alleviate it in the kitchen.  It's not even the eating I find comforting, but the cooking itself.  Back in high school I would mass-produce muffins and cupcakes during finals, and bring a giant basket handing them out to everyone I knew (and didn't know...) Seriously, I mean at least it's a productive method of coping, but in 7 hours when I am taking an exam over accounting data systems it probably won't feel quite as productive.  Really, though I think knowing how to make a killer soft pretzel will be far more useful in life than knowing anything about accounting data systems... psh what's an accounting data system anyways.

Copy Cat Lara Bars

School has driven me to this thing I shamefully call the granola bar, fruit leather, and vitamin water diet.  How it works is I eat a smoothie for breakfast, and throw a variety of granola bars and fruit snacks in my bag for my lunch and dinner the rest of the day.  This habit is problematic for a few reasons... namely I get hungry and cranky, my groceries get expensive, and let's face it granola bars and dried fruit don't quite complete the food pyramid (whatever the current pyramid is filled up with).  Half of my grocery bill is typically made up of Luna bars, Cliff bars, Lara Bars, etc (Have you eaten the caramel nut brownie Luna bars?? oh my goodness they are divine.  And yes I know they aren't actually that healthy...)  Now, I realize I can't quite duplicate Luna's caramel nut brownie bar with ease, but I can copy Lara Bars with only a few simple ingredients.  And since I can... I did :)

Caramel Corn

This isn't just any caramel corn, this is the greatest caramel corn you will ever eat.  Crunchy, sweet, buttery, salty, tantalizing caramel corn.  Trust me.  It is life changing.  

• 48 cups popped popcorn (not that microwave crap)
• 3 cups salted Spanish peanuts (optional)
• 2 cups butter or margarine
• 2 lbs brown sugar
• ½ cup dark corn syrup
• ½ cup molasses
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 tsp vanilla

1. Divide popped popcorn into two roasting pans.  Then heat oven to 250°F.
2. In a large saucepan melt butter.  Stir in brown sugar, corn syrup, molasses, and salt.   
3. Bring to a boil over medium heat for 5 minutes, stirring constantly.  Remove from heat and stir in vanilla.  (Word of warning- It will bubble and expand)
4. Pour over popcorn, stirring well to coat evenly.   
5. Bake at 250°F for 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes.  Cool completely, break apart, and store in plastic bags.  

Yields 48 cups.

Citrus Buddies

I stumbled upon inspiration for this recipe on Pinterest, only to go buy all of the ingredients and realize that the original idea belongs to Chex... and is on the back of their box.
And I thought I was on to something...  I however, am incompetent at actually following a recipe, so I tweaked it just a little.  And in my humble opinion- I improved it :)

• 9 cups Chex cereal
• 1 1/4 cups white chocolate chips
• 2 Tbs fresh lemon juice
• 1/4 cup butter or margarine
• 4 tsp lemon zest (~3/4 of a large lemon)
• 2 tsp orange zest
• 2 generous cups powdered sugar

EVERYTHING you need (+1 lemon..)

1. In a microwave safe bowl heat the chips, lemon juice, zest, and butter for 1 minute.  Stir well, and heat in 20 second increments, stirring between, until the mixture can be stirred smooth.

2.  Pour the mixture over the cereal in a large bowl, and stir gently until evenly coated.  Then transfer to a gallon storage bag and add powdered sugar.  Seal the bag and shake gently until pieces appear evenly coated- I always add additional sugar because I like mine to be uniformly white.

Notes:

• Rice or corn chex will do- or the off-brand chex cereal.
• Mix it up with lime, orange juice, or whatever you have on hand! 
• This makes cute gifts- fill a cellophane bag and tie with cute ribbon- to really jazz it up you could coat some with colored vanilla candy coating instead of white- in happy citrus colors like orange, yellow, and green.

Yields 9 cups.