Homemade Mayonnaise

Aside from Ketchup and Barbeque sauce, I basically despise condiments.  I find mustard unappealing, and mayonnaise practically repulses me.  Seriously, egg salad, potato salad, and cole slaw- basically the staples found at every picnic and potluck- kind of make my skin crawl.  I have had a life of discarding half of my sandwich because the waiter didn't hear my clear qualification of "NO MAYONNAISE".  It's a pathetic existence.  This inexplicable hatred was quelled this weekend however, when I made Vietnamese banh mi sandwiches.  All the recipes called for mayonnaise, but I couldn't bring myself to allow my dinner guests to spread that nasty goo on such perfectly good sandwiches.  The thought of it was almost insulting, so instead of giving them a jar of hydrogenated oil, soy lecithin, and preservatives, I decided to make my own.  And- It. Was. Good.  Call Channel Five News, folks, this hater has been converted.  Not only was it good- but super entertaining to watch.  I think I'll give mayonnaise for Christmas this year, just so I can make a ton of batches and observe the magic unfold, over and over.

• 2 egg yolks*
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 2 teaspoons unseasoned rice or white wine vinegar
• 1 cup canola oil*

1. Put the egg yolks, salt, mustard, lemon juice, and vinegar in the food processor. Pulse 4 or 5 times to combine well.
2. Run the machine and pour the oil through the feed tube in a thin (less than ¼ inch wide), steady stream until completely incorporated. The mixture will thicken as the oil gets worked in, and the sputtering will diminish by the time the sauce becomes super thick and creamy (photo below). It should take 2 to 3 minutes to add the oil.

Notes:

• You may use one whole egg instead, but the result won't be quite as rich.
• If you are concerned about raw egg, you may use pasteurized eggs.  They are more expensive, but when I'm feeding a group it's totally worth the peace of mind.
• For my first go at mayonnaise, I stuck to canola oil because it's cheap and I'm really good at messing stuff up... but apparently other oils can be subbed in.  Using 100% olive oil yields a very bitter result, so I would recommend a mix.  Also, coconut oil can be used- which is my personal favorite.  One source recommended 2:1 ratio of olive oil to coconut oil for a well-flavored mayonnaise.

Yields 1 generous Cup.